On the episode of the Magic School Bus I watched last night; the class is in charge of operating a midway Ferris wheel (weird); but there is no electricity. So they are tasked with finding alternate sources of energy. Why? Because there is a long line of people eager to step onto this death trap … Continue reading Hot Take Alert: Sometimes The Magic School Bus Was Unrealistic!
Thank you, thank you, for leaving burrito residue (sauce, rice, bean remnants) stuck sporadically throughout over 150 pages! While I am impressed by your dedication to both literacy and burrito consumption, I do have some questions. Was this the same burrito, consumed over what I imagine would have been at least an hour and a … Continue reading To Whoever Borrowed This Library Book Before Me
You’ve got your potion brewed, powders powdered, and the stars are just a few days from coming into alignment. You’re so close to completing the ritual, you can almost taste it. But there’s still one pesky ingredient you can’t seem to get quite right—picking the perfect person to sacrifice. But don’t worry, we’ve all been … Continue reading Six Shitty Acquaintances You Could Use to Complete the Ritual
My entire life, I’ve been a good student: it’s just something I cannot shake, regardless of the subject. I’ve always read voraciously—and the story was no different with the instructions for my newly purchased vibrator, even though they were presented in the uninspired format of an enumerated series of rules. Eager to learn, as always, … Continue reading This Vibrator Came with One Rule That I Think Violates My Rights?
Those of you that know me know I'm pretty easy-going and not weird at all, so the fact that some of the lyrics to beloved Canadian goddess Shania Twain's 1997 hit, "That Don't Impress Me Much" have been really bothering me lately is both relatable and timely. My main issue is not that Shania is … Continue reading Why Shania’s Criteria For Impressiveness Is Flawed
For many of my generation, the movie Casper lives in our memories as a fun, light-hearted romp about a little ghost boy who just wants a friend. Unfortunately for me, I could never sit through this movie as a kid and um...well into my twenties, because I truly, truly hated and was viscerally repulsed by … Continue reading Here Are All My Problems With Casper
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